There Goes My Heart

Over 10 years ago, in the midst of a contentious divorce, I lost three adult children and a daughter-in-law.  No, they didn’t die, but the relationships did.

The first two years nearly killed me.  “How can you stand it?” people would ask.  Poorly, if you want the truth.  Eventually I realized that my broken heart served no positive purpose; it only made me miserable.  If I ever wanted to be happy, I needed to put together a new life that looked very different from the one I’d envisioned.  I realized I needed to start living on purpose instead of merely reacting to the circumstances of my life.  It’s been a long, slow process with a lot of detours along the way.

I don’t know that I would have survived the pain if not for the love and support of my remaining child and his boyfriend.  They provided sympathy, empathy, emotional support, and even financial help when I was destitute. (You’ll learn more about these fine men in future articles.  I. Am. So. Proud. Of. Them.)

These guys also provided unintentional comic relief.  I walked into the kitchen one morning to find them making breakfast.  “Well now,” I commented as I took in the scene through bleary eyes.  “This is a middle-aged female’s fantasy come to life.  Two handsome young men cooking me breakfast.  Shirtless.”

Yes, I have a sense of humor that can most kindly be described as odd.  It’s one of the things - along with a refusal to just curl up and die - that has helped me get through a lot of really tough times.

What about you?  How have you coped with the rough times in your life?